"Post Birth Mother Depression"

Because we were touched by the sacrifice of our dear, sweet birth mother, we will never look at life the same.  When we look into the eyes of our little one, we are reminded of her love...her love for her child.  We are also reminded of her belief in us.  We are reminded of her drive to do what she felt she had to do for the child she loved no matter how painful it was for her...no matter how sad it was for her.

There are MANY times that Bryan and I both weep for her.  We weep over the sweet things that we are so privileged to witness that she is missing.  We cry over the memories that we are making with Myla that she is not able to experience. 

I have found that there are days that I have "post birth mom depression".  During these moments, I ache for our birth mother.  I have a feeling of loneliness for her.  I feel sad that she can't be a part of this truly amazing little creation that I have in my arms...my heart. 

 I cry when I share our story of meeting her.  I cry when I think about her sweet, sweet spirit and contagious smile.  She was one of those people who smiled and laughed even though her heart was breaking.  She was a strong spirit who bit the bullet to do what she needed to do for the child she carried.



Myla Haven Marie

Thank you for giving our little Arizona Princess life!!!

Protection

One of the classes we had to take to complete our homestudy was about how to handle the comments that people would say as they notice that one of your children is of a different ethnic background.

It was a very enlightening class in that it offered a wide range of comebacks when people would say something  hurtful or ask really stupid questions.

Bryan and I found that our favorite lines were the sarcastic replies.

As we have started to go out into the "real" world, the comments have started. 

We know that more comments will come.  We know that hurtful comments have been made and will continue to do so.  We know that it is our job to protect.  It is our job to guide her as she grows through the journey that the wild tongues will take her.  Please pray for us has we prepare for this task.  Pray for us to have a good reply to the tongues that run wild.  Pray for her to have confidence to be who the LORD so loving made her to be. 

She is

Our sweet, beautiful Myla

a perfect package worth fighting for.  She will need our PROTECTION.



I Carried You in My Heart

I may not have carried you in my womb.

I may not have been the one to give you the nutrients that helped you grow,

BUT

I fought hard to bring you home. 

With every form that I filled out, I prayed it would bring me closer to you.

With every fund raiser that we had, I knew I was one step closer to holding you forever.

With every dark cloud that I had to walk through, I hoped it would bring me one step closer to seeing your beautiful face.

With each and every day that we worked to "find" you, I carried you in my heart.



The Elliott Gang

 Our family is complete with you in our arms!



Our Homecoming

Our trip was uneventful in the airport

and on the plane

She really didn't make a peep on the ride home either.

Once we walked in the door from our trip, we smelled the aroma of THANKSGIVING in more ways than one.  First, we were greeted with family thankful that she was home and in our lives forever. 

Second, our mom's made a HUGE meal for our homecoming.    Of course, they welcomed little Myla home with a time of hugs before we ate our feast.  We were also blessed to have our Dads pray over our little miracle. 

 

It was a sweet time as she finally met her biggest brother, Isaiah. 

It was a time for Uncle Phil to get to know her. 

It was a time to see that her grandparents loved her as their own. 

It was a time to savor and cherish forever.

Blessed

Blessed

Blessed

 

I am sad to  say that I thought that I took a lot of pictures of the grandparents, but I relieved it was on my Dad's camera.  So pictures of them are to come.  She is as dear to their hearts as ours.

Bryan's Heart

Friends,
We are home.  We had a uneventful trip which is great when you are traveling with 6 children:)  I will try to post pictures as soon as I can!!
Today, Bryan wrote a letter to our church that touched my heart.  I would love to share it with you.  Here are the words of His soul:

My Dear Friends,

What a ride! Two weeks ago today we got a phone call that our baby girl was born in Arizona. Last night she slept in her home in Ohio. I cannot express how much God has moved and orchestrated events according to His will and wisdom. I am a take charge person and God had me set back, buckle in and enjoy the ride.

The range of emotions were unlike anything Gretchen and I have experienced in over 20 years of marriage and ministry. The instant love and gratitude that I feel for our birth mom is nearly indescribable. She has profoundly touched my heart, reshaped the way I will minister to people and shattered my understanding of sacrifice. She is a part of my soul and I have the honor of raising the precious life she choose to save, my baby girl Myla!

Oh how precious is the Lord's directives. His understanding is beyond our limitations. He will stretch you in ways that will end in glory, His glory. And when you are apart of experiencing His glory, you are forever changed. I want to be changed. I want to live different. I want to live as someone who is a child of Heaven and not a settler of earth.

Join me in this journey of full surrender. Pray that your heart will be open to the precepts of God and His leading of your path. He has a trail marked out for you that is as original as a thumb print and a star in the sky. Lean into His chest and feel His heart beating. He has a glorious vision that will exceed your own. Trust Him!

Bryan 

Preparing to Leave

Dear Friends,
We are excited to say that we have been cleared to leave the state of Arizona!  It was a VERY FAST AND EASY process.  We were told by some that large families could be long and draining, but the Lord came through again. 
Please pray for our travel.  We will be coming home tomorrow.  I can't wait to show off our little sweetie.  She is a treasure to behold. 
We love you all!  Thanks to EVERYONE who helped bring her into our hearts and lives.  This was a true team effort. 
Blessings!!
I will post more about her when we return!!

Sweet Family Times

After we left the hospital, the children were so longing to see their new sister.  They were not able to visit us in the hospital so they were chomping at the bit to get to our "home" to see her. 

Caleb was the first to hold his little beauty. 

What an awesome couple!



Crazy to think he just ran for her a week and a half ago!

Then came the sisters!

Aren't they beautiful?
 



Libby is so proud to be a big sister again!

The big brother moment brought forth laughter.

 

If you notice, Drew starts out holding her with a huge smile on his face.  Then...

 

He looks down to investigate the little one in his arms.

Now he has a look of concern and confusion.  Why?  I thought maybe he didn't like the thought of having a new sister.  It wasn't until Hosanna rubbed Myla's head and made her jump that the truth of his look come pouring forth out of his mouth.

He said, "Don't Hosanna!  This baby doesn't have arms!!"

 

 

 If you look closely, the baby is wearing a gown and her arms are inside of the sleeves.  Drew was convinced that our little one had no arms.  It alarmed him.

Everyone quickly gathered around and pushed her hands out for him to see.

He still was a little wigged out, but

by the next day he was all smiles

 

and kisses!

 

Her bath time was

the main attraction!

Look at the

crowd she gathered!

 

Why not? 

She is

 BEAUTIFUL! 

 

Reflecting Back on the Blessing Given By Our Birthmother

Bryan and I are completely blessed to have a loving relationship with our little ones Birth Mother.  She is a really sweet lady who has found a place in our hearts forever. 

We were able to meet with our Birth Mother four times during our stay at the hospital.  She is a very kind, loving and thoughtful person.  Here are a few of the blessing that she gave to us those few precious days while we all were at the hospital.  They are blessings that not all families who adopt have the privilege of getting:

1. She gave me the band to have complete access to our daughter.

2. She left the name on the birth certificate blank.  What does that mean?  Most children will get a name from their birth parents.  Once the adoption is final, the adoptive families will have the name changed.  Not so with our little one.  She is Myla Haven Marie Elliott and always will be.  Blessing!!  We were even able to put our last name on the certificate.

3.  She allowed us to meet Myla's Birth Grandma, Uncle, and Sister.  It was a time of love and peace for all of us.  We closed this meeting in a time of prayer as we all circled around the baby in prayer.  Blessing!!

4.  Our dear Birth Mother signed the placement papers at 72 hours.  This was a very significant time for us all!  Blessing!!

5.  After she signed the papers, we placed the baby in the nursery and went to say good bye to our Birth Mother.  It was a blessing to share those special moments with her.  We shared many hugs and tears as we said our good byes.  We will forever cherish this women.  We will forever pray for her.  We will forever love that she gave her child life and then so lovingly placed her into our hearts forever.  Blessing!!

Reflecting Back On Our Hospital Stay

We were blessed to have our baby born in a VERY adoption friendly hospital.  We were all treated with love and respect. 

This not only included Bryan and I, but also her Birth Mother.  It was  a beautiful thing to experience. 

I was blessed to have my very own room to stay in for the whole 2 1/2 days that I was in the hospital. 

I never left her sight except to eat and shower. 

Not only did I not leave her sight, but every time the doctor came by to do rounds they would come into my room and do the exam.  They would talk with me as if I had been the one to give birth to her.  It really helped to have so much respect and care.

 

The evenings were a very special time for my baby girl and me.  We really bonded each and every moment that we had together.  It was a awesome thing to behold.  I prayed that I would bond with her immediately.  I am happy to say that the Lord answered this prayer in ways that I could never have imagined. 

 Bryan was there during the days.  He had to do a little more traveling back and forth, but he also savored each and every moment he had with his princess. 

One of the tasks that we had during our stay in the hospital was finding a name that fit our little bundle of joy.  We had been playing around with the name Haven, but were uncertain that it would be the one. 

 Once we saw our daughter, we didn't feel that Haven was the perfect first name. We did feel that it would be in her name some how.

 

The staff at the hospital was really cool so they helped us out by finding a baby name book and letting us get online so we could do a search for the meaning of name.  For anyone who know us, the meaning of a name is as important or more so than the name itself.

It was on Saturday that we felt that Myla Haven Marie Elliott was the name that Lord had given us for our little sweetie.  Our baby girl now had a name!!

Reflecting Back on Meeting Our Birth Mother and Our Baby Girl

When we arrived at the hospital, our little sweetie was 17 hours old.  We were aching to see her.  Once the head nurse introduced herself to us, she let us know that before we could see our little beauty we needed to go see the birth mother.  She wanted to meet us first.
Fear...nerves...anxiety took over my heart and mind.  Had she changed her mind?  Would she like us?  Would I be to short (yes, that really was a fear of mind)  Would I be able to communicate my feelings to her properly?
I can honestly tell you that the moment we walked into the room all fear was gone.  Love...respect...gratitude...took fears place.  Bryan and I embraced her.  She quietly whispered into my ear, "I knew that you would keep her safe."  Tears flowed freely down all our cheeks.  I remember one of my tears falling on her shoulder as her own tear fell and mixed into mine.  It was a very symbolic moment to know that just as these two tears mixed into one so were our lives mixed together by the love that we both had for one dear child. 
This first meeting was not a long one.  Once we gathered ourselves together, she told me that she wanted to be the one to give me the band.  This band was the band that hospitals place on all the mothers' wist so they can have the baby taken to their room or so they can get the baby from the nursery.  This band was a true gift.  It was symbolic of the trust that she had in me.  It was a symbol of the fact that she needed me to be the mother of her child.  I now was becoming the primary caretaker of this little one. I would be the only one who could get her in or out of the nursery. 
I was so overwhelmed I couldn't do anything, but weep.  Once the nurse placed the band on my wrist, our birth mother told us she needed a little time to herself.


After a tearful goodbye, we walked into the nursery as the father and mother of this little treasure.  These pictures capture the first moments we shared with our sweetie. 


Nothing could have prepared me for her sweet face. 

 She stole our hearts

I was able to feed my baby.

As I gazed into her face, I saw parts of her birth mother. 

It made loving her even easier.  I have a true love for both of them. 

One gave her daughter life...life in our hearts. 

The other was our life...our all.

Yes, she will be safe in her Daddy's arms.

 He will protect her.  She is our daughter. 

This was just the beginning of our journey together.