He gazed out of our window much like he is in the picture above while I sat on the rocker. He asked in a simple, quiet tone,"Are you ready for this? I don't mean ready for a new baby...a new child, but are you really ready for the Lord to work on your heart. He wants more of you than you have ever given before."
After a moment of silence, I confirmed that I was indeed prepared for anything the Lord had for me. But was I? I will have to admit the answer is no! No, FATHER, I am not ready for the twisting of the wet clay as you make me into what you desire! No, Father, I am not ready to die to myself even more.
Ready? No way.
Willing? You bet.
Fighting the process as he works, molds, and prepares me for the task ahead? Absolutely.
What does the adoption have to do with the changing of my heart? I have no clue. All I know is that I was sitting on the dock of life living my life thinking that I had surrendered all I had to the Lord, my husband, my children, my family, and my church. I have come to realize that I had issues hidden deep with in my soul that he longs for me to deal with. I have insecurities that I have allowed to rule my life. I have been stumbling through life fearing man more than fearing the Savior. I live my life afraid that I will fail someone...anyone.
It is his heart's desire for me to fly...for me to be free to be who he called me to be. He longs for me to fear nothing, but him.
Lord, help me to soar.
Father, hold me as I cling to you.
Savior, guide me as I face the uncertainty of adopting a child into my heart, soul, and life.
Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is FREEDOM. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's GLORY, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing GLORY, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.
2 Corinthians 3:17-18
No comments:
Post a Comment